I was going to bed at 9PM, since I have to be at work at 5AM. I had just settled down when all of a sudden…my printer started to GZZKKRRNNKKGGZZZZ WONK WONK WONK GZZZZZTRHHHHRHH WEEEEEEEE GZZKKRRNNKKGGZZZ WHRRRRR NGNGNNGNGGGGG GZZZZZZWONK VVVRRRMMM WWWWVVVMM GZZNNNNGGG WHNNNNNG GZZZZKKK WHHHRRRRR for the next five minutes.

For totes moral support I text my friend Rachel.

Me: My printer decided to Play the Song of its People even though I haven’t touched it in over a month. My printer is a poltergeist.
Rachel: It’s haaaunteeed
Me: If they don’t find my body, my printer did it.
I swear to ever-loving Valhalla this thing is possessed.
Forgot to mention, dis is not first time it has done dis. Ffffffff—
Rachel: Slenderman.
Me: Shit don’t say that I was going to bed goddammit you bitch I will haunt your ass to the next world.
Rachel: Sleep tight, don’t let the operator bite.

foolycoolying: find the ignorant weenie who has no concept of the gravity of mental illness in the haystack Ahoy there, social justice. God, the Butthurt rings strong with this one. And thx for calling me a weenie; we’re totally going to call each other names second-graders throw around. Go take a long walk off a short pier and let me have my one “Schadenfreude” for the day - I’ve got my own stupid IRL problems that need some replacing with now and again. I usually avoid this shit like the plague and strongly abhor it, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get to enjoy myself with one of the most insane ones to my recollection of the year. Mankind thrives off of horribly awkward situations just to make themselves feel better (why else would some people enjoy The Office? Protip: I DON’T.). If you can’t handle one snarky, sarcastic comment about something that is simultaneously uncomfortable and awkwardly hilarious to other people, please remove yourself from the internet; it’s gonna be a loooong road ahead of you. Have a nice day~
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foolycoolying:

find the ignorant weenie who has no concept of the gravity of mental illness in the haystack

Ahoy there, social justice. God, the Butthurt rings strong with this one. And thx for calling me a weenie; we’re totally going to call each other names second-graders throw around.

Go take a long walk off a short pier and let me have my one “Schadenfreude” for the day - I’ve got my own stupid IRL problems that need some replacing with now and again. I usually avoid this shit like the plague and strongly abhor it, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get to enjoy myself with one of the most insane ones to my recollection of the year. Mankind thrives off of horribly awkward situations just to make themselves feel better (why else would some people enjoy The Office? Protip: I DON’T.). If you can’t handle one snarky, sarcastic comment about something that is simultaneously uncomfortable and awkwardly hilarious to other people, please remove yourself from the internet; it’s gonna be a loooong road ahead of you. Have a nice day~

manfurarm: nevver: Ladybird Mimic Spider  #fucking spiders man #ANYTHING could be a spider #you reach into your fridge and pull out a popsicle SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY A FUCKING POPSICLE SPIDER #you’re walking down the street and a hydrant tackles you GUESS WHAT COCKSUCKER #HYDRANT SPIDER #you reach out in the dark and flip on a light switch AND YOU’RE FUCKED IT WAS A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER #YOU JUST GAVE A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER A FUCKDAMN HANDJOB #NICE GOING YOU SKETCHASS ARACHNOFONDLER
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manfurarm:

(via freecandyman)

Source: nevver

  • Jessysketches: *reblogs post of an oarfish #what the hell is that thing*
  • Me: dat's an oarfish mothafukka
  • Jessysketches: what the hell how does it even happens
  • Me: it akshully swims vertical...like, it's head is facing toward the sun
  • and its tail toward the depths
  • it just kinda hangs out
  • it only comes towards land when they're dying or sick
  • one of the longest measured apparently got to be about 55 feet long.
  • Jessysketches: nightmare fuel
  • Me: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbeiVOFqQsc and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTA0FTw0gAg
  • Jessysketches: im done with nature
  • 800% done
  • Me: lmao
  • you're not done until you see a stargazing fish
  • lh6.googleusercontent.com/-T5iLdafBS5g/TYkvUumKA_I/AAAAAAAAHG4/wjL6eV4ODfM/s1600/toxic11-stargazer-fish_13501_600x450.jpg
  • 25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md18akWGmh1rprj1yo1_500.jpg
  • Jessysketches: /crying
  • Me: lmaoooo
  • DID I MENTION
  • THE'YRE ALSO VENOMOUS
  • AND A FEW OF THEM HAVE ELECTRIC ORGANS
  • MEANING THEY MIGHT DELIVER A SHOCK
  • Jessysketches: no why nooo
  • Me: because they hate everyone
  • obviously
  • why do you think they look so angry