I was going to bed at 9PM, since I have to be at work at 5AM. I had just settled down when all of a sudden…my printer started to GZZKKRRNNKKGGZZZZ WONK WONK WONK GZZZZZTRHHHHRHH WEEEEEEEE GZZKKRRNNKKGGZZZ WHRRRRR NGNGNNGNGGGGG GZZZZZZWONK VVVRRRMMM WWWWVVVMM GZZNNNNGGG WHNNNNNG GZZZZKKK WHHHRRRRR for the next five minutes.
For totes moral support I text my friend Rachel.
Me: My printer decided to Play the Song of its People even though I haven’t touched it in over a month. My printer is a poltergeist.
Rachel: It’s haaaunteeed
Me: If they don’t find my body, my printer did it.
I swear to ever-loving Valhalla this thing is possessed.
Forgot to mention, dis is not first time it has done dis. Ffffffff—
Me: Shit don’t say that I was going to bed goddammit you bitch I will haunt your ass to the next world.
Rachel: Sleep tight, don’t let the operator bite.